Official Recognition
❄️

World Record — Certified by the International Bureau of Sensitivity

This certifies that

Dan

is THE BIGGEST SNOWFLAKE


After rigorous scientific analysis of Dan's online activity, independent judges have unanimously concluded that Dan is, without question, the most uniquely fragile individual ever documented on the internet. A true original. A crystalline masterpiece of easily-bruised feelings and breathtaking overreaction.

OFFICIALLY
CERTIFIED
100th Percentile Sensitivity
Comments Left Offended
Chill Detected